Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
