Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
We're not piercing ourselves today.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
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