I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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