This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We were destined to go to rehab together
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
