tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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