He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just want nice things and good sex
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
