I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Drake has all the answers
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
