Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
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