Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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