I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
