I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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