I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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