Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
