Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
