Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
