Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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