found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
