Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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