After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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