My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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