well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
