It's like a parade of train wrecks.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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