HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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