Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
