batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
