Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
