I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
