i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
