my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
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