This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
