He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
