And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
