therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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