is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
