I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
