STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
