Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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