I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
