I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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