We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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