you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
