***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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