she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
