Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
