C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
