I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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