i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
