Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
