shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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