DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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