She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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